What does it mean when a guy says he needs space to think
Now, listen carefully: what you do after he asks you for space is super important. When guys get upset, they like to go into their shell to get some perspective on the issue at hand. If you spend tons of time with someone but you fight all the time, no one would call that a great relationship. But if your schedules conspire so that you can only spend a little time with each other, but that time is amazing — anyone can see that you have a great relationship.
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: When He Says "I Need Time," You Say This... (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)Content:
Here’s Exactly What To Do When He Says He Needs Space
Being left wondering why men pull away when things seemed really good in relationships can leave anyone feeling confused, panicked, and rejected.
The first thing you should know is that this isn't necessarily a bad thing for your relationship. In fact, when you accept his request and give him space, it can actually be an opportunity to bring you closer together as a couple.
Most people occasionally need some time by themselves to investigate and figure out their deepest feelings and thoughts. By following my best dating tips and advice below, you can learn how to make him miss you and want him more than ever by doing a few things that will help sway his emotions and decisions in your favor. When a man says he needs his space, there are usually two things happening simultaneously inside his head. So if you want to know how to make him miss you by leaving an impression on him he won't quickly forget, here are three things to do when a guy pulls away.
When you're used to spending a lot of time with a man and feel extremely emotionally connected to him and then he tells you he wants distance, a myriad of uncontrollable emotions can unleash inside you. You can feel panic and extreme anxiety. You can feel deep sadness and strong anger. All these feelings are valid and healthy reactions to a loved one pulling back. However, you should honor his need for space, too. And this is really hard to do when your feelings are so strong, you don't know how to get them in check.
You want to beg him, question him, continue to call him. You want to maybe scream at him or cry tears of desperation and confusion while asking him, "Why? If you are like me, you will want to drive to his house in the middle of the night in a state of sheer panic.
This is normal for a woman who is in touch with her feelings and in love with a man. It's normal to feel like you are fighting for your life and that you are being ripped from someone very important to your existence. So don't judge yourself for your feelings, thoughts, and actions when a man pulls back. To get a handle on your feelings, you first have to give yourself permission to release them. You have to let yourself cry and scream as much as you need to. You have to have space in your house where you go and just allow yourself to feel everything.
Once your negative fear-based feelings are out in the open, informally meditate. Light candles, take a shower beforehand and put on some soothing music. Take deep breaths and go inside yourself, taking inventory of your body.
Try to stretch and loosen up tense areas and then once you feel like your body is responding to your attention and movements to ease it. Think about his face, his smell, his house, his laugh, and more. Think about all the things that define him and make you love him. Feel your heart warm over with love for him and deep care for him as a person.
Then open your eyes. Get a piece of paper and with loving feelings flowing through your heart, make two lists: a list of all the things you love about him, and one of all the things you think he loves about you. Take a look at these lists and circle three things on each list that you feel are the most important things you two love about each other. In this email or letter, you're going to mention those three things you love about him and three memories that correlate to those three things you know he loves about you.
Remember, you'll also mention the following:. You aren't going to have any pulling energy in the email. This means you are not going to tell him anything that makes him feel smothered, controlled, guilty, or fearful of losing you. Anything that's about pulling him back to you instead of surrendering to his need for space.
Your letter is a gift of love to him, not a manipulation to leave him feeling like he has to be with you or else he is a total jerk to abandon you and reject you. You aren't going to threaten not to be there when he gets back. You aren't going to tell him how you are not eating and how you cry on the floor of the shower for hours.
You aren't going to tell him you want to spend the rest of your life with him and have his babies, and know he is the one to be buried next to for eternity. You aren't going to beg or plead. I respect your need for space and want you to know I will honor your request for as long as you need. I also want you to know that I am angry, hurt, and confused right now but those feelings will pass and I won't allow them to cloud my love for you.
I really do love and care for you deeply. Your smile brightens my day. The way you bring me medicine when I am sick lifts my spirits faster than Airborne works on my congestion. And your kind texts every morning when I wake up are like a tiny bird singing me to join the day. I too will think about us during this break.
Mostly, though, I will think about the good memories you have left me with. The time we spontaneously went to the movies in our PJs and laughed the whole time in the empty theater. The time you cried at how good my spaghetti was. The night our sex was so amazing, we named it. Love, I want you to take your time and whatever you decide, I want you not to worry about me because I will be okay in the end.
I respect you enough to be patient and to honor your decision about our love. If you write this letter, you will leave him with a good taste and show him that you care about his wishes. You will be reminding him of the goodness in your relationship, and you will be reassuring him that he makes a difference in your life men need this to feel like a relationship is working for them.
You will also be freeing him up not to feel guilty and worried about you. Guilt actually makes a man want to run because it creates pressure, making him think that if he stays and it doesn't work out in the future, he will destroy your life. Don't go on and on in your letter and squeeze in every moment of every memory, and don't get into detail about all your feelings about him and his need for space.
Too many words will feel draining and overwhelming for him. Once he does take his space, have a friend on hand who you can call when you are jonesing to contact him and make sure this friend is positive and calming.
Tell her that you only need her strength and patience, not her fears and opinions. A good friend will understand what you mean and will be available to you at this hard time.
Resist the need to rehash everything with family and friends and question his love a thousand times. Meditate, focus on things you love, don't do things you don't love to do, and give yourself permission to feel your feelings without marinating in them too long. In the end, if he comes back, let him guide the pace of things because you love him and are willing to surrender control over the unknown and control over the relationship.
In love, we invite, we surrender, we risk. And remember, sometimes it takes space to close a gap. Kristina Marchant is a relationship and dating coach who helps women gain confidence and learn to connect with men on a soulful, honest, safe, and sexy level.
If you want to learn how to unclench your death grip and keep your man in love with you, sign up for her Goddess Advice Newsletter.
Sign in. Join YourTango Experts. Expert Blog. Photo: getty. Kristina Marchant. Heartbreak April 25, Take a deep breath. It's going to be fine.
What to Do When He Says He Needs Space
Few things are as frightening or nerve-wracking as a man needing space. The way they process and experience things is different. Taking space is a natural coping mechanism for most men, just as seeking out support from friends and loved ones is a natural coping mechanism for most women. The number-one reason a man pulls away is that he is stressed. The source of his stress could be the result of some issue in the relationship, but it might not have anything to do with you at all.
Being left wondering why men pull away when things seemed really good in relationships can leave anyone feeling confused, panicked, and rejected. The first thing you should know is that this isn't necessarily a bad thing for your relationship. In fact, when you accept his request and give him space, it can actually be an opportunity to bring you closer together as a couple. Most people occasionally need some time by themselves to investigate and figure out their deepest feelings and thoughts.
Why Men Pull Away & Ask For Space In A Relationship — And What To Do About It
When I was younger I assumed, incorrectly it turns out, that I would find the man of my dreams in my early twenties. So when I finally was able to transition into a healthy relationship I held on so tight I was literally suffocating him, and he uttered those words that bring fear into the eyes of every love-sick woman. I need space, he has said. In my small brain hearing those three little words instead of the more adorable better known 3-word phrase, I thought it was over. See, I had lived alone for more than 10 years. Space was the absolute last thing I could ever imagine needing in a relationship that meant so much to me. It was only in the last year of living alone that I had gone from seeing life as sad, lonely, and pathetic to the happy gift it truly is.
He Says He Needs Space
The anxiety of a man needing space. It can make you feel blinded by fear of the worst. Unfortunately and fortunately, this dizzy time of worry and stress is so important for the future of your relationship with this man. First of all, I want to say that this article is for women who are already in an exclusive relationship.
What To Do When He Says He Needs Space
The One Perfect Thing to Say When a Man Says He Needs “Space”